The Random Poet
A Haiku Collection

I

Frog jumps in cesspool

Frog-splash makes very big splat

Cesspool drowns dumb frog

II

Bunny with machine gun

Guns down platypus army:

Mother Nature weeps

III

Bunny with machine gun

Guns down leprechaun army --->

Leprechaun zombies!!!!

IV

Doggie goes poo poo

Pretty butterfly flits past

This haiku is random

V

Tall ship sails swiftly

Waves lap against the ship's side

I write lame haiku

VI

Student must write essay

Student writes haiku instead

Student fails classes

VII

Government fks up

Zombie Queen sues government

Randomness ensues

VIII

Squirrel sees big chainsaw

Chainsaw murders squirrel's family

Squirrel gets revenge

Big chainsaw sees squirrel

Squirrel murders chainsaw's family

Chainsaw gets revenge

Chainsaws enrage squirrels

Poet sees endless cycle

Squirrels enrage chainsaws

IX

I am great poet

Reading this you prove my point

My haiku is 1337

X

The Jedi Mind trick

I am not using on you

Repeat after me

"The Jedi mind trick,

However strong the Jedi

Does not work on me"

XI

Roommate turns on rap

Rap banishes common sense

Poet goes insane.

XII

Roommate turns on rap

Makes homework impossible

Write haiku instead